A while back, I made a post (on my spiritual blog) about the insanity of being expected to never judge anything. Part of the reason I rally against the “no judgment” crowd is that it’s so often used as another way to manipulate people into saying they should have no standards, no discernment and no common sense. These folks are sometimes doing things they know are morally or legally wrong and don’t want to be called on it, OR just use “don’t judge” as a way to shut down debate, and guilt or bully people into their point of view. Ironically, the last type is VERY prone to judging people they disagree with.
The thing is, judging situations and people is an important part of life. It’s doubly so for empaths if we’re to avoid being exploited and manipulated. Let’s start with the obvious. Is it wrong to judge:
- Pedophiles
- Murderers
- Rapists
I doubt anybody remotely rational would say it’s wrong. I’ve met a few crazies that would excuse that kind of behavior though. I think where some well-meaning people in the middle get tripped up is that they can’t or don’t want to understand that you can judge a behavior and person as wrong while still having some understanding of the circumstances that led a person to do something bad. You can have sympathy for a drunk driver having just been dumped, but that doesn’t excuse their killing 3 other people while driving drunk.
So let’s use that as a lead-in to what I saw a day or two ago. Homeless people and panhandlers are absolutely epidemic in Sacramento. “Don’t Judge” is a rallying cry here also regarding them. TO A DEGREE, it’s a valid admonition also. The problem comes when you have people trying to exploit the situation, such as professional panhandlers. This woman for example:
Now if the red circle here didn’t give it away, the “tell” that this person is not homeless is her sandals. Those are $100+ Birkenstocks, and in good shape. I can’t place the brand off the top of my head but I think those are moderately expensive yoga pants also. There are a couple of other “tells” as well. Bottom line, there’s every reason to suspect she has a real home, etc… and just finds it easier to panhandle than actually work. These professional panhandlers are more common than you’d think too.
So, am I saying dump on all homeless people? Absolutely not. Some are very legitimately down on their luck, trying to recover, etc… What I *AM* saying is that it’s appropriate to use observation and common sense in deciding to help somebody, or if an area feels dangerous, or just about any other situation.
We have to be able to make judgments about right and wrong, people and situations to be able to establish reasonable boundaries. In my opinion, the key lies in the proper translation of that Bible verse: “Judge not unrighteous judgments, lest ye be judged”. To me, that means you do NOT go for blood over an argument caused by somebody having a bad day. The reaction has to rationally fit the situation, factoring in if it’s a repeating issue. Generalizations like “ALL Walmart shoppers” or “ALL black people” or “All any race or group” are bad too.
Another part of that is letting go of hate and anger. OK, your significant other cheated on you and left (as another example). It’s fair to say they’re a bad person. It’s also fair to say you don’t want to see them again. Beyond that, let it go; don’t be Taylor Swift. Hanging onto hate only poisons your own soul, blocks your growth as a person and allows no room for better things to take the place of what you lost. All of that is the start of proper, wise judgment
So there you have it. It’s perfectly fine to judge, just do so with wisdom and compassion.