Ever feel like that picture above? I’m sure most of us have. If you haven’t, you’re likely new to writing, or not analyzing your work and growing as a writer.
Needless to say, normally we’re talking about writer’s block here. Maybe that actually IS what I’m dealing with, in a warped sort of way. I know what I want to write, that’s the irony here. I’ve had numerous posts all worked out in my head. I just can’t get to the point of putting them “to paper”.
I’ve been staring at the screen for this post for a few days now actually. I wanted to figure out the “why”, and have something more to write than complaining. Long story short; I feel like I’m chasing my tail here AND that I’ve got other obligations.
Chasing My Tail:
This is much akin to previous posts I’ve made discussing my frustration with blogging. It’s been a TON of work, and the “ROI” (return on investment) has been pretty minimal. On anything but a very short post (ie Book of Boba Fett – Chapter 2), I spend about an hour working on the post. Hunting pictures, researching and fact checking to various degrees, proof reading and editing, etc…
I’m subscribed to numerous other blogs, which I actually DO read also. That can take another couple hours out of my day. What do I get back? A dozen likes out of 777 followers, with 2/3 of the “likes” being from people that never read the post. They’re just trying to trade fake “likes” as if this was Facebook or Twitter.
My original goal with creating this blog was to build an audience for books I’d write and sell. I’m sure not accomplishing that here. Somehow I have to get that whole goal back on track.
As much as I’d like to make it all about the fake likes and followers who don’t follow, there IS the other side of the coin to look at. Put out a better product and people will want it. I’ve spent the last few days pondering how to improve the blog.
WordPress supposedly just released a vast new array of customization options. Exploring those tools and trying to make heads or tails of them is on the agenda. How successful will I be? Who knows. Every new “improvement” to WordPress seems to just turn it into a bigger mess. I actually miss the “good old days” of LiveJournal.com… sort of. LOL. My current template has a few things I don’t like though, especially the fact it puts the reply button at the TOP of a post instead of the bottom. The biggest variable will probably be what features / tools are paid (isn’t everything on WP anymore?).
The actual writing itself… I realize I’ve been writing just to write (filler essentially), and I’ve been overly concerned about self-censoring to keep an audience. I have to write for ME first, otherwise there’s no authenticity. Readers can tell when that’s the case.
I’m still going to make every effort to be polite, etc… What will change is that I’m not going to avoid doing topics like martial arts because I think nobody is interested. There’s more to life than recipes and nature pictures. Those will still be here however. 🙂 I’m going to experiment a little with social issue posts and calling out the media as well. I want to do it in a calmer, more productive way than previously however. Focusing on where and what the manipulations are, for starters.
I don’t know if I’ll actually change anyone’s mind. I hope to at least make people think however. There’s just so much BS out there anymore. Most of it is just pointless ego aggrandizement also. For example, I saw an article online today that talked about how psychologists are coming to appreciate all the contradictions in Buddhism. Trouble is, there aren’t any. Some stuff, such as “If you see the Buddha on the path, kill him”, has a deeper meaning and is meant to provoke thought. More often the apparent contradictions are simply warnings against both extremes.
Somebody needed to feel intellectually superior by attempting to discuss Buddhism and psychology together though.
So, bottom line is that I intend to do quite a bit of experimenting and try to find what feels right (write? lol) for my blog.
Better Things To Do:
OK, so the video doesn’t have much to do with the topic, beyond the name… Well, and I suppose the major argument I had with my almost-ex spouse over the state of our lives. Suffice it to say somebody is far too comfortable in their comfort zone and is FAR too poor at communication and working together. Spending time trying to meet my own ends of the change I insisted upon IS part of what I’ve been occupied with though.
There’s our whole housing situation as well, which is still hanging in limbo.
My recent spider bite situation let me know just how deteriorated my overall health is also. The antibiotics had me sleeping for almost 2 days straight. I was wiped out for a good week afterwards too. I need to finally get back out into the real world and get a job to help out. I need to get my health back to the point I can actually work a full day though.
That’s a hard realization for somebody who used to train 3 hours a day at two different martial art studios back in the 90s. The ex and I were pretty fit back in the day.
So yes, priorities are readjusting. At the same time however, there’s no reason I wouldn’t have enough time to do my blogging too. I just need to be a little better organized than I have been previously. 🙂
And congratulations if you actually made it all the way through this rant. 😀