OK, time for a “Things that Make You Go Hmmm” post…
Now for those who don’t speak Italian or can’t guess based on the phrase’s similarity to English, the title means Private Site. I bring it up because there’s a blog I follow that’s in Italy, and the gal who runs it has a bad habit of locking most of her followers out of some of her posts. Since just about all of her posts are romantic poetry, thoughts and songs, I assume she’s younger. I likewise assume that given the rest of her posts are about romance and sensuality that the private posts are also.
Every time I hit that private site screen, I can’t help but wonder what’s being posted that she feels the need to keep it hidden from most people.
With that in mind, I wanted to offer some advice to the young women out there: NOTHING, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on the internet is private. No matter what you do, there are people with ways around it. Anything from outright hackers to sites that index (and clone) other sites, to “social engineering” and a dozen other possibilities.
Keeping it simple, the aspect of social engineering that we’re talking about here is that whole thing your parents or friends hopefully warned you about with not sharing racy pictures of yourself with somebody you have a crush on. They’ll share with one friend, no matter what they promise, and then it gets passed around more and more until suddenly everybody in the neighborhood, at school and / or at work knows what your bare boobs look like.
My point is this; if your piece of erotica or sensual poetry is that sexual, or you don’t feel comfortable sharing that pic (nude or not), putting it behind a “private” page or site is really NO protection at all. You have two realistic choices here:
DON’T DO IT. Use discretion and common sense levels of caution and don’t post that written material or picture. You’re very likely saving yourself a good deal of drama later on down the road. Won’t happen to you? That’s what EVERY girl that ended up with nude pictures passed around school, or the star of a revenge porn video on the internet said. None of them set out to be publicly humiliated.
The other option is to accept it’s VERY likely going to happen to you also at some point. Webpage passwords are minimal protection. They might be better than just “owning it” and putting it out on display for everybody but the end result is probably going to be the same. That pic, video or story could resurface at the worst possible time too.
Hypocritical, given that I write erotica? Superficially, BUT I’m only warning you of the likely fallout. I’m also careful to disclose minimal personal information and NO pictures of myself. I’d do follow those last two steps regardless. The world has too many weird people in it.
With everything in the news, I think it behooves me to write about being a cop, what they typically think, and are motivated by, etc…
First, I want to make it clear that I am NOT going to defend bad cops. There is ZERO excuse for what happened to George Floyd, as one example. It’s not always about racism however. Bad cops can be bad for more than one reason. Likewise, good cops can sometimes seem bad just by the nature of the job.
As a note about my qualifications to speak on the subject, my dad was a career cop… Long enough to collect TWO pensions. If I recall the count correctly, four of my martial arts instructors were cops as well. So were a handful of my fellow students. I talked to all of them regularly about what the job is like. I also spent the first half of the 90s as a private security guard, which involved fairly regular interaction with cops, and even breaking up a smash and grab robbery once.
So, I understand a good bit more than the average person on the street about what law enforcement goes through.
Side Note: I know I’ll get asked so… The smash and grab was a lucky escape for me, as it were. I was an unarmed officer but always carried a maglite. The facility I was guarding had a shop across the street for maintenance of it’s trucks. I drove over there to check it during my rounds and scared off three huge guys in a rental truck who had rammed through the chain link fence’s gate, and were breaking into the facility to steal all the tools and equipment they could. Between it being dark, my uniform looking similar to local cops AND my driving a black Ford, they assumed I was a cop, hopped in the truck and hauled tail out of there. It could have gone VERY different very easily.
What Motivates the Average Cop?
Just about everyone who becomes a police officer is motivated by the desire to help people and keep their community safe. Yes, sometimes racists, victims of PTSD and just plain people with anger issues get in, but this is NOT the majority of people in law enforcement. The vast majority are like Officer Greg Anderson, who was suspended for this video:
Where Things Sometimes Go Sideways:
First, there’s the painfully obvious need for better screening during the hiring process. This is complicated though for two reasons. First, some people are just VERY good at faking normal. Second, there’s a shortage of people willing to be police nowadays. Given all the crap the profession takes, I can’t blame folks for not wanting to sign on either.
The Realities of the Job are the next factor, and an even bigger one. Think about this: what other job are you going to be expected to become a human target and be required to actively and constantly put yourself between the worst of humanity and the general populace? Soldiers do, but do it with better armor, weapons and far less limiting rules of engagement.
Do you know two of the absolutely most dangerous situations for cops? Routine traffic stops and domestic violence calls. You never know if you’re going to get shot by some nutcase that you stopped just for a broken tail light or expired license “tag”. Likewise, domestic violence calls have a high probability of ending up with one or both parties involved trying to assault the responding officer(s). Often it’s even the victim who suddenly doesn’t want the aggressor hauled off to jail.
My point being that the job itself has a way of turning good people into cynics who suspect the worst of everyone. It almost requires it of them in order to stay safe. Every call, officers are dealing with people at their absolute worst, be it self-entitled ‘victims’ demanding justice all the way to hardcore gang bangers.
35 or 40 years ago, THIS would have gotten a person the wood shampoo and a trip to jail. NOW cops are supposed to just stand there and take it. If anybody did that to a normal person, it would result in a throwdown. Cops are expected to have NO personal space though even though the person in their face could quickly pull a knife, gun or punch, and is far more likely to do so against a cop than another civilian.
Should people be able to protest the police? ABSOLUTELY! There’s a right way and a wrong way to do it however. Burning, looting and scenes like the above just convince some folks that the cops were right and need to be heavy handed though. What’s required is alot more of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s example and a hell of alot less of the “Karen” antics in the picture above.
Unrealistic Expectations of Officers is another big problem. I blame Hollywood for this. Years of martial arts movies and action movies along with pop psychology have convinced the average idiot that any police officer should be able to fight like Captain America or Bruce Lee, and yet never hurt anyone. It’s gotten so bad that police are even criticized for using non-lethal options like tasers in cases of self defense.
The pop psychology aspect comes in with the expectation that police should be able to talk EVERY suspect into a completely peaceful resolution and everybody walks away happy. That works fine for shows like “The Rookie“. I genuinely like that show and we all wish interactions with law enforcement could go the way they usually do on the show. Reality is, people drunk out of their mind, stoned, or just plain mentally ill do NOT always make the most rational decisions. Sometimes these people are spoiling for a fight and are NOT going to give a cop time to do an in-depth psycho-analysis.
The ones stoned or drunk beyond all reason can be remarkably resistant to pain as well. A fellow student in my original karate school was mugged delivering pizzas. He kicked his attacker 3 times square in the groin with steel toe boots and hit him several times in the temple also. The counter attack would have crippled a sober person, probably permanently. Because the attacker was stoned out of his mind, he shrugged off all of it though. It was a one time thing for that fellow student, but something cops encounter on a fairly regular basis.
Tying it All Together:
What I’m driving at is that there are reasons besides racism that cops get heavy handed or cop an attitude. Stress, anger over others being endangered, and anger and fear over themselves being put in danger are often major factors. “Respect my authority” is often more about the officer feeling safely in control of a situation (and thus more confident they won’t be hurt) than it is as seen on South Park:
It’s one thing to get stopped for jaywalking across a major road, and even then that just merits a “Hey, stay safe and don’t do that again, OK?” This guy was stopped on a residential street with NO traffic. Even the facts that he argued with the cops and threw down his jacket don’t excuse it because there was NO reason to stop him in the first place. Nobody could even say he looked like a suspect for anything.
My point with this article though is to point out that it’s NOT always racism and that every white cop is NOT out to kill every black person they see. It’s usually more about the dangers of the job, fear and adrenaline. This is why black men are just as likely die at the hands of black cops as white ones.
Also, If it was ALL about black folks there wouldn’t be over 22 seasons of COPS filled with cheese whiz sucking white trailer trash getting manhandled, the dog released on them, and cuffed and stuffed also.
One of my previous blog articles also mentioned how *I* was ALMOST drawn on by a nervous cop during a traffic stop when I too hastily reached for my glove compartment to try to find my proof of insurance. I’m as white bread as a cracker can be too, LOL.
Does It Excuse Any Of It?
In a word, NO. It doesn’t matter if it was racism, PTSD, a god complex, fear and adrenaline, or a desire to “teach this perp a lesson” that got George Floyd killed.
While we DO have to realize that cops are human, there are professional standards that come with the job. Whatever MAY have happened that got George Floyd in that position on the ground (i.e. *IF* he had resisted arrest), once those officers had him under control, they had a moral and legal obligation to cuff him and put him in a vehicle.
When racism or other issues such as anger management or PTSD show up, they should be dealt with swiftly. Get the officer off the street. If they’re a bad cop, fire them. If they’re damaged and have PTSD or something similar going on, maybe they can serve at a desk job. When it results in something like the George Floyd incident, the cops should be buried under the jail. Period.
The Role of the Media
I’d be sorely remiss if I didn’t mention this factor. The media is FAMOUS here for stirring up drama to the point of riots. More than one case has blatantly had facts withheld by the media that would at least make a widely publicized incident look more grey, if not outright clear the cop involved.
Very few media outlets are questioning the narrative that Ahmaud Arbery was just out jogging and killed for no reason for example. They do NOT report that the man with the shotgun was a retired Deputy Sheriff who had arrested Arbery before, OR that there’s video of Arbery walking through a house he broke into. Likewise there’s no questioning why he would first keep running toward two armed men in the middle of the street, NOR why he attacked and tried to disarm the shotgun wielding former deputy. Or even that both shots went off as Arbery tried to wrestle the shotgun away.
Does that mean those men are innocent? NO. There’s still enough in the infamous video to merit an investigation. There’s an intangible feel to me also that they were looking for an excuse to punish Arbery. What I *am* saying is that there IS enough there though to establish some reasonable doubt.
The media wants race riots though. They equal ratings. People dying and losing their businesses in those riots? That’s just extra ratings.
CONCLUSION:
Remember that ALL cops are human, and only a small percentage are bad. It’s a VERY dangerous job, and it’s only getting worse for them with people thinking it’s OK to verbally and physically abuse them on an ever growing basis.
A little courtesy and polite behavior can get anyone out of most encounters with the police completely safe and unharmed.
Let’s focus on getting the bad cops fired or prosecuted where appropriate, while still supporting the good ones.
Payoff for something hinted at a couple days ago. 🙂
Some of my readers may still think of comic books as a kid’s media. Reality is, that started going away in the 60s. They deal with all kinds of social issues and topics that would be considered more mature. They just also do it in a grandiose setting much like ancient myths. I’ve read them for decades, and I’ve seen the good and bad in the work. I believe there are multiple lessons for other writers to take away from them as well. So, here we go:
Begin with the end in mind: I know about half the writers out there at least partially fly by the seat of their pants. That’s OK, BUT, know the direction you’re heading. If you have an outline (mental or written) of how that final chapter is going to go, you will have an easier time getting your characters to that point. For better or worse, this is one thing the comic companies are good at doing. We have a 12 issue story arc that will end with X being defeated this way.
2. Think About the Long Term Implications of the Story’s Events: This is mainly for authors writing sequels. You never know when that one shot story or novel will inspire you to write more however. You may have fans push for a sequel also. This is something the comic companies have done very poorly since the 80s, hence all the reboots. Actions have consequences, even in good fiction. Destruction will cause public insecurity and backlash. Captured doomsday devices are potentially going to end up in wrong hands again, etc…
My favorite example here it Geoff Johns unleashing a whole rainbow of different Lantern rings on the DC Universe. It was pretty clearly, “oh this is cool, let’s take it a step farther” thinking with no thought for the impact on the story universe. So we went from Sinestro having a yellow ring, to him recruiting an army of yellow ringed psychos terrorizing the universe with the yellow rings. Then there were Red Rings based on rage, then came Blue rings based on hope, and Violet rings based on passion (not love), Indigo rings based on Compassion, an Orange Ring based on greed, White Rings based on Life, and Black Rings based on Death that reanimated dead characters as zombie black lanterns… By the time all was said and done, DC had the universe overflowing with various lanterns running amok. They had to go back and destroy most of the rings to restore some semblance of balance to the story universe. Recently, not having learned, they started doubling down and introduced non-visible light spectrum rings for hidden emotions like shame.
Learn from this. It doesn’t matter if it’s a spy story and the bad guy discovers our secret agent’s real name and that they have a family. There’s long term implications there of the bad guy repeatedly coming after the family, and selling the information to other villains so they can do the same. It’s OK to do that, just have a plan on how to handle it long term, like the family being relocated with new identities.
3 Every Character Should Have A Purpose: The comic companies have gotten big the last decade or so on throwing out new characters in the hopes of appealing to new readers. On the surface, that may seem logical. It’s really trying to side step the fact that the story telling is suffering. It’s treating a symptom, not the cause. The characters are frequently introduced with little though and poor or no backstories also.
Principle characters should have a decent backstory to define their motivations and goals. It can be as simple as the heroine works with the hero because they’re childhood friends and she has a secret crush. It’s a reason for them to be there, then all you need is what skills, observations, connections, etc… do they add to the story, and how those will come into play in the story.
Even minor or cameo character should have a reason for being there. The co-worker passed in the hall tells the protagonist about an event, etc… If they’re just there to show the office has a staff, they’re not needed in the story.
Note that major characters / the protagonist should have as much depth as possible also. Stan Lee talked about how what made Spider-Man successful was that it wasn’t his powers that let him win the day so often, it was Peter’s heart and scientific knowledge. The more clearly the character is defined, the easier it is to avoid that Mary Sue ending where the protagonist is simply better than the antagonist at their game.
4 Make your heroes actually be heroes and your villains be villains: A major failing of almost all mass media anymore. There’s precious little difference between protagonists and antagonists in so many TV stories, movies, etc…
A villain with depth is great. Magneto from the X-Men being a classic example. He has a cause, and a reason why he goes about it the way he does. At the end of the day though, he’s still a villain. The irony of the character that’s lost on many modern readers is that he was oppressed by Nazis so he feels justified in using the same logic and ideology as Nazis to protect mutants.
Nowadays, everything is moral relativism though, and some try to justify that as realism. It’s about as realistic as saying there’s no difference between a peace loving Muslim and a suicide bomber. Think about all the best selling books and movies in recent memory also. Every one of them had a hero that was standing up for what was right. Everything from Hunger Games to Avengers. The heroes may be flawed, and should be to some degree, but at their core, they’re still heroes. Likewise no matter how the villains try to justify themselves, or how tragic a character they might be, they’re still villains.
5 Do NOT Get Overly Preachy with Social Messages: Something the Twitter crowd doesn’t understand. You LOSE and outright alienate more readers this way than you gain. Comics have gotten BAD about this the last decade also. It’s the same kind of mentality that led Jussie Smollett to do what he did, with the same result that less people are going to be willing to listen to similar issues in the future.
Social issues have had a place in story telling since the dawn of time. Comics started with them in the 60s. They did a fine job up until the 90s also. My favorite old example is a Captain America storyline where the government tried to compel him back into gvernment service. It was a great story about the meaning of patriotism. Steve ultimately told the government to stuff it, and that while he believed in the country and the American Dream, the government had no right to control a citizen’s life. It was a good story that acknowledged the good and bad of patriotism and loyalty in general; how there had to be common sense and balance. Compare that with today how everything is about how horrible the West is while more and more of it’s critics flee TO the West.
Even when part of a story is racism or sexism; things with no upside… Don’t aggressively beat people to death with it, or portray any group as all bad. Yes, there are sexist men out there, but labeling every straight male in your story as a rapist is unrealistic and will alienate the average reader. Strive for a rational portrayal of social issues and you’ll reach more people.
OK, long post. Took forever to write also. Hopefully I gave some of my fellow authors some food for thought however. 🙂
OK, trying this one more time since it didn’t format worth a damned last time…
Anyway, some advice from Rudyard Kipling via PoetryFoundation.org
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
I’m sure I’m confusing people on twitter with my moderate’s disdain for the political extremes running amok there. I’m grateful that some people seem to get it though.
My “No Politics” post didn’t make things as clear as I’d have liked. I have TWO big problems with politics and the way people talk to others:
1) Issues are NEVER as simple as the extremists and demagogues on either side make them out to be. For example, gangs are just one good reason for a border wall, BUT we have to overhaul our immigration system as well and allow good people a chance at the American Dream, take an honest look at what we may be doing to contribute to problems in Latin America, and see if we can do things to help them help themselves.
2) These extremists not only shut down thinking and discussion, they spread hate and poison. There’s a principle of metaphysics that says hate only attracts more hate and conflict. It doesn’t matter how righteous you THINK your cause is, if your answer is trashing and threatening violence against those you disagree with, you are part of the PROBLEM, not the solution. You are also actively working to make the world a DARKER place.
I keep saying be more like Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Jesus, Buddha, etc… I have a perfect story that illustrates the point also. The Christmas Eve service is the one time this heathen is guaranteed to turn up at church. The closing part of the services; the same every year, are exactly why:
The Pastor talks about the need to carry the Christmas Spirit into and through the new year, and how the world is a dark place if everybody withholds their love, compassion and caring from the world. To illustrate the point, the lights are turned off in the chapel.
Now, everybody is given a candle entering the service. They’re all being lit as the Pastor speaks. He tells everyone to keep the candles low at first also; withhold their light from the world metaphorically. Then he starts talking about how people can be the light, and make the world a better place. Then all 3000 people (It’s a big church) hold up their candles. It’s beautiful and amazing the difference it makes
Afterwards everyone sings Silent Night and the service are over.
Watch the YouTube video through to the end and see if it doesn’t have the same impact on you as it did me. It’s alot of light, and it’s people wanting said light to better the world, NOT burn it down. THINK about that. Remember the people you disagree with are human beings with legitimate reasons for feeling and thinking the way they do. If you actually talk to them like human beings, you will PROBABLY find out that you have more in common than you realize once you get past artificial labels.
Think win-win and you can probably also find a solution that’s not perfect, but works for both of you.
Silk Chatters 