Category Archives: Spirituality

Still Drifting…

But the ship is coming under control ever so slowly. 🙂

So what to say here? I try to avoid personal drama here. It’s toxic, and it alienates good readers, and bad readers take pleasure in it.

LONG story short; my baggage goes WAY back. BAD childhood, equally bad first marriage, etc… For ages, I’ve tried the Western, new age BS way to deal with my “shadow”: all the pain, self-doubt and anger over it. That being to make peace with it, or bury it. Let me tell yah; that don’t work.

Shaka Zulu was credited as saying never leave an enemy alive lest they rise again and strike you down (paraphrased). That is exactly what happens with psychological baggage when you try that. You start to feel good, and it comes back attacking from a different angle. Even Seinfeld recognized that:

The only answer is to kill the bitch. How? Detailed instructions would be another, LONG post, and I can’t say as I’ve got all the answers YET. I do know I’ve made huge progress with prayer, meditation, grounding, energy work, and working hard to forgive myself and others. I can also honestly say that it takes some real introspection and self-awareness to hunt your own shadow as well.

Is it truly killable? Yes, but achieving that (IMO) would put somebody at the level of a Buddha or just short of that. Can *I* do it? Saying yes would be arrogant. Saying no would allow doubt and fear to creep into the fight, strengthening the shadow.

I’m already doing better too. I’ve come too far to let myself fall back also.

I will leave all of you with one VERY helpful tool while I continue to work, and compile a complete battle plan.

Ho’oponopono is Hawaiian prayer or meditation technique. It’s name roughly translates as ‘to release’. That’s exactly what it’s goal is also; to help you forgive yourself and others, and release the associated negative emotions and energy connected to people and events. The video above is one of several videos on YouTube covering Ho’oponopono. The process is as powerful as it is deceptively simple; an analogy would be the Israelites being told to gaze at Moses’s staff to be healed. Yes, it’s THAT good, especially with regular use.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by life or just want to grow, give it a try.

Beyond that; I’ll leave you with this post’s theme song; dedicated to getting better and supportive friends:

It’s In The Cards?

Picture borrowed from Flickr –

This one is a repost from my adult blog, originally done yesterday. It’s going to get a bit new-agey, but just hang in there. I promise it’ll be interesting regardless. First, let’s start with a little honesty, both with myself and you all:

Yes, life has been a seemingly never ending series of small train wrecks the last few years (and before that, lol), BUT, even as frustrating as multiple moves, dogs barking and stampeding, etc… have been… The real reason I’ve done so little (creative) writing is self-doubt.

In terms of the adult blog and writing erotica / romance, well… Anything sexual is both complicated and draining for an Empath also.

Only Arrowverse fans will get it, but… LOLOL

Even just creative writing about it tends to pull on or out a great deal of emotional energy. That MAY be something for another post however. It would take time to discuss properly.

LONG story short, I’ve spent a great deal of time the last few weeks reflecting on whether or not writing, erotica in particular, was something that I was truly ready to pursue… or if maybe I should focus on more mundane pursuits. Not coming to any real conclusions on my own, I turned to the tarot card reading software I have to see if I could get a little insight.

As a Side Note, I know what a few of you MAY be thinking; “Get a reading from a piece of software?!?” Well, I actually DO have a real deck, but I’m still learning to read it. More importantly, whether you’re using physical cards or software, it’s just your subconscious mind / higher self trying to communicate with you. With the software, you pick the cards, the software places them, and tell you their base meaning, and how being inverted and or it’s position with other cards effects it’s meaning. Once the cards are all read, the software leaves you to interpret how it all comes together to answer your question. Again, because it’s all really about getting an answer from your subconscious, it’s been surprisingly accurate for me every time I’ve used it.

With that clarification, I’m going to post the “reading” I did on becoming an author. Coincidentally, what you see below is exactly what the program spit out in terms of describing each card.

Cards from the Celtic Dragon Tarot deck; the style of deck I own.

Summary (Career Reading)

QUESTION: How Successful Will I Be as a Writer?

First card: The first card describes the past. It can also signify past factors such as study or work experience.

(1) YOU GOT: The World.
This card is about joy of the senses, the cosmic origin of life, love and happiness. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Well-dignified it signifies success, a favorable issue to the circumstances. Sometimes change of place.

Second card: The second card describes the present situation. It’s the current state of the subject’s career.

(2) YOU GOT: Five of Staves.
This card is about persuasion, hot speech, demonstration of love or desire and egotism. Meanings: Power, and pleasure in exercising it; adventure, speculation, and uncertainty; strong attachments. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means: Boldness, command, generosity.

Third card: The third card describes the positives, the ‘pros’.

(3) YOU GOT: Knight of Swords.
This card is about a military man, painful memories, distress in the family and war. Meanings: A youngish man, with some talent for governing, rather materialistic, though with some artistic appreciation, active, clever, fond of travel, dexterous, and skillful in management. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means: Favorable to the enterprises of the Querent.

Fourth card: The fourth card describes the negatives, the ‘cons’.

(4) YOU GOT: Seven of Cups.
This card is about thoughts, ideas, intelligence, plans and imagination. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Possible victory, but the person to whom the card applies may be too indolent to take advantage of his opportunities for commanding circumstance; success may be gained, but not followed up; necessity for choosing the highest possible objectives.

Fifth card: The fifth card describes the influence of colleagues, management and others with whom the subject has professional dealings.

(5) YOU GOT: The Lovers.
This card is about sensuality and human love. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Attraction, beauty, love, sympathy. Balance of forces, and reciprocal activity. Particularly, agreement in things of the mind, symbolized by the six-pointed star, or hexagram. It is a card of harmony between the inner and outer life.

Sixth card: The sixth card describes the best path to take in order to further the subject’s best interest in the matter.

(6) YOU GOT: Nine of Swords.
This card is about dogmatism, ritual, ecclesiastic spirit and hard judgment. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Faithfulness, obedience, unselfishness, patience; fortunate news about legal affairs or partnerships, especially if the outcome has been delayed or in doubt; aid or gain through relatives, short journeys, or writings, but not until the Querent has passed through a period of more or less uncertainty and worry; ultimate good fortune resulting from a series of events which present unfavorable appearances at first.

Seventh card: The seventh card describes the outcome. It indicates the final result if the path shown is followed.

(7) YOU GOT: Two of Swords.
This card is about magnetic attraction, intimacy, affection and sensuality.
This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Contradictory characters in the same nature: strength through suffering; pleasure after pain. Delay in the realization of objectives. It intimates a period of uncertainty, in which the Querent, through he has a sense of adequate power, does not know just what to do with it. Justice, unselfishness, and the restoration of peace.

MY (Short) Take On It:

The first card; The World meant that my past work, while needing improvement, is better than I’ve given myself credit for, and is an indication that I have ability. The second card; 5 of Staves, is along the same lines. It means I’ve got the ability and need to put it to use. The third card; Knight of Swords, means I have the organizational skills to handle the choice. The fourth card; Seven of Cups, means I’ll have to be dedicated to the work and improving my craft if I want to succeed. The fifth card; The Lovers, I’m *guessing* means I’ll have some support in the effort. As for the sixth card; The 9 of Swords, it means the best path is hard work, serious effort at growth, and releasing the self doubt. The seventh card; the 2 of Swords (interesting that so many of the minor arcana cards were Swords… means it’ll be a struggle at first, but if I keep at it, I’ll be successful.

All in all, I’d say it was a very positive reading.

Erotica and Witchfire Specifically (Link is NSFW):

A few hints in the above reading indicated that erotica was indeed in the cards for me, (pun always intended, lol). None the less, I did separate readings on both of those with similar results. The main difference being that the readings indicated that they would both be tools to help me find increased peace with that part of my nature. They’d both be growth tools in their own unique ways. How long they’d remain a part of my life however, was hard to say.

Wrapping it Up:

I’ve overcome a great deal the last few months. I even got my neck and back returned to a (somewhat) functional state and am continuing to work hard there. I can and will make this work too. It’s long past time I let go of the self doubts.

I have alot of half finished stories and posted story ideas to work on too. 😀

The Origins of Halloween

Well, first… Happy All Hallows Eve, all. 🙂

Image from

Sheree did a post mentioning how France celebrates “All Saints Day” on Nov 1st instead of Halloween. I thought it would be fun to go into the origins of Halloween, given the day and all… 🎃

The general consensus is that Halloween is an evolution of the ancient Celtic holiday of Samhain (actually pronounced sow-in or sow-win. And I wonder why I have no luck with Gaelic despite my roots, lol). In reality, several cultures such as the Romans (and Egyptians IIRC) had similar holidays around this time. Samhain probably is the primary influencer of modern Halloween however.

LONG story short, Samhain was a recognition or belief that the spiritual veil between the material world and all of the spiritual realms is thinnest on this day of the year. This had both good and bad effects for the Celts and Druids.

The Bad:

The bad side of this was that all manner of evil was or is (if you’re a neo-pagan), able to walk the Earth this night. The masks we now associate with trick or treating were worn to frighten off demons and other dark spirits of all kinds. Bonfires served a similar purpose.

What kind of boogies might one encounter? Well, per

“Some specific monsters were associated with the mythology surrounding Samhain, including a shape-shifting creature called a Pukah that receives harvest offerings from the field. The Lady Gwyn is a headless woman dressed in white who chases night wanderers and was accompanied by a black pig.

The Dullahan sometimes appeared as impish creatures, sometimes headless men on horses who carried their heads. Riding flame-eyed horses, their appearance was a death omen to anyone who encountered them.

A group of hunters known as the Faery Host might also haunt Samhain and kidnap people. Similar are the Sluagh, who would come from the west to enter houses and steal souls.”

Technically, anyone into metaphysics will tell you that with the veil being thin everywhere, one could encounter anything from Heaven, hell or anywhere in between. 🙂

The Good:

The good aspect of the day, to the ancient Celts, is that it also made it easier for their priests and druids to commune with the spirit world and receive prophecies on the coming year’s weather, events, etc… It was also considered the end of the year. These predictions were taken very seriously too, with planning for the upcoming year being made based on them. So, Samhain was a very important religious day for the Celts.


As Christianity spread into Northern Europe, the Catholic church attempted to incorporate pagan holidays into it’s own calendar, with a twist towards it’s own beliefs. With Samhain, the first attempt came in the fifth century by Pope Boniface. He moved the celebration to May 13th and specified it as a day celebrating saints and martyrs. The celebrations of October and November, however, did not end with this decree.

In the 9th century, Pope Gregory moved the celebration back to November 1st, but declared it All Saints’ Day. All Souls’ Day would be celebrated on November 2nd.

Eventually, blended traditions led to “All Hallows Eve” or (later) just Halloween. Much of the US traditions around Halloween came from 19th century Irish immigrants. Again, per

Trick-or-treating is said to have been derived from ancient Irish and Scottish practices in the nights leading up to Samhain. In Ireland, mumming was the practice of putting on costumes, going door-to-door and singing songs to the dead. Cakes were given as payment.

Halloween pranks also have a tradition in Samhain, though in the ancient celebration, tricks were typically blamed on fairies.

And the evolution continues with modern neo-pagans trying to reclaim the holiday from the candy and costume manufacturers that have most recently hijacked it. 🙂

Attacks on Religion are Getting Old

No, I’m not going to be advocating for any religion; this one is a rant about having respect for others’ beliefs.

It was prompted by a blog post I saw recently with a little parable about how spiritual people were superior to religious ones because spiritual people have never killed anyone in the name of their god (or gods).

I’ve seen faulty analysis like this for years, along with imagined intellectual superiority by atheists; mocking people for believing in any sort of higher power. The irony here is that I’d consider myself more spiritual than religious. HOWEVER, I do strongly believe in respecting others’ beliefs and opinions, at least in as much as they’re willing to show the same level of tolerance.

Before I really get going, let me first state that I know the people I’m going to complain about are NOT indicative or reflective of the entire groups they represent. They are, however, the most vocal minority within each of these groups.

The Faulty Logic:

Let’s start with the easiest point to dispute. I’ve heard everybody from atheists, to spiritual people, to western wannabe Buddhists and Neo-pagans / Wiccans talk about the evils of organized religion, and how they persecute and kill anyone who disagrees with them.

The most obvious point is one that seems to fly over the heads of everybody nowadays, be it political debate, social issues or this topic: Hypocrisy.

How does one blanket condemn entire groups of people for something and then presume to hold themself up as more enlightened and morally superior? At best, that’s the same sort of tribalism that’s being condemned. If one wants to prove the superiority of their path, the only TRUE way to do is by elevating their own thinking and actions, NOT by tearing down those of others. Yes, that goes for you religious folks too.

Reality is, NO group is perfect. Zero… NONE.

I’ve seen “spiritual” people lie, cheat, steal, use and abuse people, etc… Many of the global elites who have started more recent wars have described themselves as “spiritual” also. They do evil in the name of their own selfish, petty desires, which, ironically can be argued to be their gods in some cases.

Eastern religions are NOT pacifist either. Some of the most brutal, effective and battlefield tested martial arts come from their teachings. Shaolin monks were some of the greatest warriors in China and often conscripted by the Emperor as troops. That’s the past, and they’re evolving you say? True, but the same is true of all belief structures.

Atheists; well communists are the largest block of atheists. “Religion is the opiate of the masses” – Marx. Do I *REALLY* have to get into how many people that Lenin, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot massacred in the name of their better world?

I’ve seen “enlightened” Wiccans lecture others about karma and then freely throw literal curses over the slightest offense. Many of the loudest critics of how they’re perceived and treated by religious people, at least that I’ve met, have been pretty blindly prejudiced against religious folks themselves. They also forget the shoe used to be on the other foot with pagans enslaving, murdering and persecuting Christians, Jews and Muslims, and even each other.

It’s In The Past, and Sometimes Distorted:

It’s a bitter irony of modern times that nobody wants to be held accountable for their current actions, yet they’re quick to condemn others for actions in the far past.

Slavery and religious wars are two great examples of this on a macro level.

Politicians are quick to invoke God to try to lend themselves an aura of righteousness where none typically exists, but a true “holy war” probably hasn’t been fought since the crusades.

Speaking of the Crusades… This is a prime example of distorted history. The Crusades were not wars of aggression by Christians. They were wars to take back lands from invading Muslims, who had made it as far as Spain before being driven back to the Middle East.

No, I’m not condemning Muslims either. It was a different time, and I believe the wars were fought just as much over land and limited resources as they were ideology. The “different time” thing is the biggest factor here however. If you want to be judged by your own actions and NOT those of an ancestor, or somebody loosely connected to your past, then extend that same right to others.

Another historical distortion; the Salem Witch Trails. They went on for almost a year. Only 20 actually died directly from trials though. Another 5 died as an indirect result, and five more are questionable. The trials were about greedy people going after neighbor’s lands, other petty revenge schemes, and bratty girls looking for attention, more than they were about religion.

An Ugly Unspoken Truth:

Here’s another reality that just about everyone has seen if they’re willing to be honest:

Many, but not all, of the biggest critics of religion simply just want to be able to run amok as they see fit and not be told there are any consequences to their actions, nor any values they should adhere to.

These same people would freely complain about how corrupt capitalism has become (as an example) while fighting to remove any sort of moral or religious teachings from society.

How many of you know that for ages the Catholic church considered the charging of (financial) interest to be a serious sin for example? If that single idea were in place, would we have mega-corporations and evil giant banks controlling economies? Unfortunately, that idea went out the door about the time of the Protestant reformation.

My points here being that not all change is good, and that organized religion has had good and bad points or moments. ANY organization made up of humans does.

As a final point before wrapping up… Every religion and philosophy this side of satanism and pure hedonism has some form of a “code of conduct” along the lines of the 10 commandments. I really doubt anyone can make a rational argument how guidelines against lying, stealing, murdering, etc… make society worse. One can split hairs like The Pharisees all day about when bending the truth is OK, but as a general rule, any sane person is going to agree that lying is bad.

Likewise, just because people fail to live up to the ideal does NOT make the ideal wrong. It means we need to strive harder, and help each other along towards it, even if we all never fully achieve it. That’s what an ideal is all about.

Instead, we try to tear down each other’s ideals and step on our fellow human being in order to give ourselves an imagined boost up. That’s what inspired this rant in the first place.

Wrapping It Up:

None of the above is to say religion is perfect or has done everything right. As I said earlier, no system run by human beings is going to be. All of the above criticisms can be applied to a small but overly vocal minority of Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc… as well as spiritual people, atheists and such.

If you want people to change, you have to lead them by example though. Beating somebody down physically or verbally doesn’t make you correct, it just makes you a bully. Seek understanding and lead by example instead. Show them by example how your ideas are better instead of insulting and telling them they’re inferior.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

If your ideas truly are better, they’ll naturally catch on without you having to beat down others to promote them.

I Had A Dream Last Night…

“Liu Kang has been given the dream. He is the Chosen One.”

OK, nothing quite that dramatic, but…

I don’t remember the very first part of the dream, but it involved discussing the past; things unfinished and left behind… Then I mentioned something about a car that was left behind after a move brought about by financial hardship. I said something to the effect that it was left behind in storage and I wondered if it was still there…

Next thing I know, I’m standing in the driveway of some house that I’m supposed to know… I could sense that much. There’s the car sitting there, waiting for me. My mom is there also.

I’m looking over the car, and I notice that it’s showing it’s age and exposure to the elements at this point. The black paint was faded, there were large refrigerator magnet type “stickers” all over the back end also. I pulled one off and the part of the paint underneath it came off with it. What was left looked like cracked and peeling base coat.

I remember sighing and saying it was probably just time to let it go, and that it was probably falling apart. My mom was there and said something about not being so sure…

There were a few seconds in between, but the next think I remember was looking down and seeing that the bad paint spot was actually slightly deteriorated cloth. I pulled it back, and beneath it, the car was in pristine, showroom new shape.

I don’t remember what exactly we said but my mom and I both said something positive about it… and then I woke up.

My immediate thought was that it had something to do with the Mustang. It’s spent alot of time in the garage due to rain or excessive heat, sometimes both. Too simple, I quickly realized. Ginger is in pristine shape and I’ve never seen her as something to give up on

For those who don’t know, I don’t subscribe to dream interpretation manuals. Dreams are your subconscious trying to communicate with you, so the imagery’s meaning is going to be specific to you.

It actually didn’t take much introspection to figure it out:

It was about my writing. I’ve left it shelved for ages, making excuses for pain, being busy, needing to improve, etc… to the point where I was beginning to wonder if it was just a pipe dream that needed to be let go of.

This was my subconscious telling me that life is improving, that the pain is being removed (slowly) and that I need to start living life before it slips away and I’m left with nothing but regrets like at the beginning of the dream.

Everything having past and been too late… Just an illusion covering the dreams.

Even my mom had a symbolic meaning; she’s always been my worst critic and she was pushing me forward at the end.

Lost Two More…

I lost two more followers today. I knew that was a risk when I started talking politics. Things like my Rush Limbaugh post are bound to offend the easily butt sore. That doesn’t change the fact that there are people out there wishing death on him. It also doesn’t change the fact doing so is fundamentally EVIL. It doesn’t matter if you’re wishing death on Trump, Obama, Reagan, Carter, Limbaugh or Chris Mathews.

As Democrats used to say; “Hate is not a family value”.

I get that some of you come here for the writing talk, or my cooking. You don’t care about politics or social commentary. I get that. Sometimes the blogisphere is as much an escape from reality as a book is.

Skip those posts then. I’m fine with that. I promise.

Dropping a blog that you thought enough of to follow initially because you disagree with a post and can’t discuss it… THAT, right or wrong, gives the impression that your opinion isn’t grounded in any kind of objective thinking and you’re afraid to have your ideas challenged.

Me personally, and this blog… I’m open to rational discussion. I will only shut ANY opinion down if it’s spewing hate. Likewise, if you try to deliberately misquote me to pull some sort of gotcha, I won’t have it. Even then, at first, I’ll just assume you misread.

One of the drops I know was because I dared to question their view of Brexit in their blog. I did it in a fairly polite way though. Even admitted I didn’t have as much insight on it as I’d like. Instead of opening dialog and educating me on what he perceived the drawbacks were, he shut the door and hid. We both might have learned something.

I’m always open to learning more also. I view it as self-improvement and growth. I’ve learned to see both sides of several issues along the way also. Case & point; my dad was a cop. I was taught that cops are these wonderful protectors always concerned with doing right and protecting the innocent. I’ve listened to people that have issues with law enforcement though. I’ve seen video of a guy here in Sacramento thrown to the ground and manhandled for what really did essentially amount to walking while black. I called out the cops here on it also. Long story short, I can see times where the complainers are right, and times when the cops are also. Sometimes maybe both sides could have done things better.

Take the same approach to life and you might be amazed how much you grow and learn. 😉

In the mean time, I’m going to continue doing social commentary and spiritual posts along with writing, cooking and personal posts. That social commentary will include calling BS on both extremes too.

Bugs and Plants

Just a quick, fun update here. 🙂

First, the bugs… or bug. 🙂 I went out to bring in the garbage cans after they were picked up / emptied by the garbage company. As I approach the security gate at the corner of the house, I see THIS:

Hanging out

That’s an extreme closeup of the top of one of the bars of the gate, with our visitor sitting there. Almost seven years living here and it’s the first time I’ve seen a Mantis. Yes, I’m aware of the symbolism too:

So yes, it was a message to just relax, regain my focus and trust in the process. “Let go and let God” as it were. Without getting preachy, I understand the Bible’s admonitions against chasing signs. My personal experience is also that you don’t have to chase them. Pay attention, have a little faith and they’re all around you. Maybe not every day, but when you need them…

Moving on… I also got a Coral Jade bonsai for my birthday a few weeks ago:

Weirdest plant ever. 🙂 It’s a succulent, which means it’s vaguely related to cactus. Those who want to read more can look at this gardening site:

Garden Lover’s Club – Jade Plant

New Avatar

Some may have noticed that I changed my Gravitar avatar a day or so ago. Here’s a blow up of the picture:

Courtesy of Dave Jones at

Only a comic book geek is going to recognize the symbol of the White Lanterns from DC Comics. I’m sure everybody has heard of Green Lanterns (much to Ryan Reynolds’ dismay, lol). Their rings focus willpower into green energy. When DC Comics and Geoff Johns decided to revive the Green Lantern brand, one of the things they did was introduce a whole spectrum of emotional energies, each with it’s own corresponding Lantern Corps. Sinestro made copies of his yellow fear ring and created an army of his own, then came Blue Lanterns wielding Hope, Red channeling Rage, and several others.

The final Corp was the White Lanterns. Those familiar with new age theories and basic science will know white light encompasses the the entire spectrum of light. Same with these Lanterns. The white light energy includes all the others and the corps are the guardians of life. Since their energy includes all the others, they’re also considered the most balanced corp.

So, LONG story short, the symbol is my determination to stay strong, balanced and do what’s right.

Part of that is I will be doing more posts like my one on feminism, but I’m going to be tackling issues with the idea of looking for common sense middle ground solutions and keeping things as positive as possible. Bitching doesn’t accomplish anything other than alienating readers. I’ll keep the light and fun stuff coming also, and more cooking also as time allows. 🙂

A Little Reminder…

Yes, I could have finished the headline, but it sparks curiosity as it stands now. 🙂

We had a car issue earlier this evening and had to go get another battery, not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  The reminder came when I went back outside a half hour later to get my phone from the car we drove to the store…  the one the city says is abandoned and they’re threatening to tow.  *headdesk*

This was just a few minutes ago, and it’s 73 degrees outside with just a hint of a cool breeze blowing at almost 10pm.   That’s 22.77 degrees Celsius for you folks outside the U.S. 😀

I walk out there and there’s a small group of people playing with light up gliders, tossing them into the air and letting them come back down.  Cool little toys if you’ve never seen them.  It hit me at that moment…  THAT is why we’ve been fighting this battle for 6+ years.  Even more so than being safe in our own home, it’s so kids can feel safe playing in the park an hour after sundown.  There aren’t too many parks left in the city where that is possible either.

Suddenly the price paid didn’t seem quite so bad after all…  🙂

Nothing like a little reminder from above about what you’re struggling for.


Beyond that… the last post’s comments section got a bit political.  I’m going to refrain from future political posts here and put the brakes on future political comments also.  This is supposed to be a writing blog, and I’d prefer everybody gets to know each other as people as opposed to real or imagined political affiliation.  Besides, I personally can get along with almost anybody so long as you’re polite.

A Good Reason to Judge

A while back, I made a post (on my spiritual blog) about the insanity of being expected to never judge anything.  Part of the reason I rally against the “no judgment” crowd is that it’s so often used as another way to manipulate people into saying they should have no standards, no discernment and no common sense.  These folks are sometimes doing things they know are morally or legally wrong and don’t want to be called on it, OR just use “don’t judge” as a way to shut down debate, and guilt or bully people into their point of view.  Ironically, the last type is VERY prone to judging people they disagree with.

The thing is, judging situations and people is an important part of life.  It’s doubly so for empaths if we’re to avoid being exploited and manipulated.  Let’s start with the obvious.  Is it wrong to judge:

  1. Pedophiles
  2. Murderers
  3. Rapists

I doubt anybody remotely rational would say it’s wrong.  I’ve met a few crazies that would excuse that kind of behavior though.  I think where some well-meaning people in the middle get tripped up is that they can’t or don’t want to understand that you can judge a behavior and person as wrong while still having some understanding of the circumstances that led a person to do something bad.  You can have sympathy for a drunk driver having  just been dumped, but that doesn’t excuse their killing 3 other people while driving drunk.

So let’s use that as a lead-in to what I saw a day or two ago.  Homeless people and panhandlers are absolutely epidemic in Sacramento.  “Don’t Judge” is a rallying cry here also regarding them.  TO A DEGREE, it’s a valid admonition also.  The problem comes when you have people trying to exploit the situation, such as professional panhandlers.  This woman for example:

IMG_0513 (2)_LI

Now if the red circle here didn’t give it away, the “tell” that this person is not homeless is her sandals.  Those are $100+ Birkenstocks, and in good shape.  I can’t place the brand off the top of my head but I think those are moderately expensive yoga pants also.  There are a couple of other “tells” as well.  Bottom line, there’s every reason to suspect she has a real home, etc… and just finds it easier to panhandle than actually work.  These professional panhandlers are more common than you’d think too.

So, am I saying dump on all homeless people?  Absolutely not.  Some are very legitimately down on their luck, trying to recover, etc…  What I *AM* saying is that it’s appropriate to use observation and common sense in deciding to help somebody, or if an area feels dangerous, or just about any other situation.

We have to be able to make judgments about right and wrong, people and situations to be able to establish reasonable boundaries.  In my opinion, the key lies in the proper translation of that Bible verse: “Judge not unrighteous judgments, lest ye be judged”.  To me, that means you do NOT go for blood over an argument caused by somebody having a bad day.  The reaction has to rationally fit the situation, factoring in if it’s a repeating issue.  Generalizations like “ALL Walmart shoppers” or “ALL black people” or “All any race or group” are bad too.

Another part of that is letting go of hate and anger.  OK, your significant other cheated on you and left (as another example).  It’s fair to say they’re a bad person.  It’s also fair to say you don’t want to see them again.  Beyond that, let it go; don’t be Taylor Swift.  Hanging onto hate only poisons your own soul, blocks your growth as a person and allows no room for better things to take the place of what you lost.  All of that is the start of proper, wise judgment

So there you have it.  It’s perfectly fine to judge, just do so with wisdom and compassion.