Sito Privato

OK, time for a “Things that Make You Go Hmmm” post…

Now for those who don’t speak Italian or can’t guess based on the phrase’s similarity to English, the title means Private Site. I bring it up because there’s a blog I follow that’s in Italy, and the gal who runs it has a bad habit of locking most of her followers out of some of her posts. Since just about all of her posts are romantic poetry, thoughts and songs, I assume she’s younger. I likewise assume that given the rest of her posts are about romance and sensuality that the private posts are also.

Every time I hit that private site screen, I can’t help but wonder what’s being posted that she feels the need to keep it hidden from most people.

With that in mind, I wanted to offer some advice to the young women out there: NOTHING, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on the internet is private. No matter what you do, there are people with ways around it. Anything from outright hackers to sites that index (and clone) other sites, to “social engineering” and a dozen other possibilities.

Keeping it simple, the aspect of social engineering that we’re talking about here is that whole thing your parents or friends hopefully warned you about with not sharing racy pictures of yourself with somebody you have a crush on. They’ll share with one friend, no matter what they promise, and then it gets passed around more and more until suddenly everybody in the neighborhood, at school and / or at work knows what your bare boobs look like.

My point is this; if your piece of erotica or sensual poetry is that sexual, or you don’t feel comfortable sharing that pic (nude or not), putting it behind a “private” page or site is really NO protection at all. You have two realistic choices here:

DON’T DO IT. Use discretion and common sense levels of caution and don’t post that written material or picture. You’re very likely saving yourself a good deal of drama later on down the road. Won’t happen to you? That’s what EVERY girl that ended up with nude pictures passed around school, or the star of a revenge porn video on the internet said. None of them set out to be publicly humiliated.

The other option is to accept it’s VERY likely going to happen to you also at some point. Webpage passwords are minimal protection. They might be better than just “owning it” and putting it out on display for everybody but the end result is probably going to be the same. That pic, video or story could resurface at the worst possible time too.

Hypocritical, given that I write erotica? Superficially, BUT I’m only warning you of the likely fallout. I’m also careful to disclose minimal personal information and NO pictures of myself. I’d do follow those last two steps regardless. The world has too many weird people in it.

Use wisely your power of choice.

18 thoughts on “Sito Privato

  1. Shawn

    I couldn’t agree more with this perspective. I’ve heard and dealt with a number fo unfortunate young people who found themselves victim of that very phenomenon. And each and every one them always had one of the following responses, when asked why they posted: “I thought he’d keep it to himself,” “I thought I could trust them” and “He’s been so good but got pissed when we broke up.” It’s pretty sad and can be destructive on a o young person’s life. The best bet is always NOT to do it.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Silk Cords Post author

      It’s not just that either. I’m sure you’ve also heard the stories of women being turned down for college admission or fired from a job because some really embarrassing picture or video came to light.

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  2. richardbist

    Good advice. But I often wonder if it’s simply going to be normal for the younger generations to have stuff like this – nudes, bad taste posts, etc – out there. Once the floodgates open…

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Silk Cords Post author

      I’d hope and like to think that eventually… maybe the next generation… society will get smart enough to realize that oversharing on social media is toxic vanity and that even if your nudes get lost in a sea of porn out there, it’s still not good for your self-respect to have them out there at all.

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  3. rebecca s revels

    Years ago, I had a distant relative who was sharing things that I felt were best left unsaid. To my knowledge they didn’t share nudes, but comments that were made, opinions shared, personal information told were shared. They worked in a career that took them into people’s homes. I warned them that potential clients look at their social media and those posts could definitely cause problems. That stuff does come back to haunt, just ask all those who obtained then lost very good positions due to some post from years back.

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    1. Silk Cords Post author

      Very good point. It’s not just inappropriate pictures and such that can come back to bite a person. I actually heard a similar story or two over the years about a maid (I forget what the second one may have been) who shared all her clients’ bad habits and dirty little secrets online. Nobody would hire her afterwards and I think the only thing that prevented her from getting sued is she had no money to start with.

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        1. Silk Cords Post author

          I’d say it’s a combination of two problems I’m seeing around the internet anymore. 1) Kids today don’t understand that freedom of speech only applies to the government restricting it, and does NOT protect them from other consequences of their speech. 2) The internet, esp social media rewards boorish behavior. 10 minutes of fame for being the cool gossip girl (or guy) is all the see.

          That’s my opinion anyway. 🙂

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          1. rebecca s revels

            One to which I agree. The ‘bad’ always seems to gain the attention while the ‘good’ are to be considered weak, boring and object of ridicule. While some time down the road, the bad’s actions will come back to bite them. As many are finding out too late.

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  4. Aintamuggle

    Absolutely correct. Times are very volatile and nothing is private. In a age where AI is tracing what we say every minute, a picture on internet is really easily susceptible to mishap. Thank you for putting this out there.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Silk Cords Post author

      It’s been said a million times before, but I’m worried that some are getting complacent due to being jaded with the message OR lured into a false sense of security because they THINK something on the internet really is private among a handful of would-be friends.

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  5. joanne the geek

    Yes anything you put on the internet has the potential of being found and distributed no matter how private you make it. I try to be as private as I can, but I know that any image, writing, or information about myself I put on the internet could end up anywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. Catxman

    You’ve gotta have the courage of your convictions. Either you live your life with your head down all the time or you stand up straight and proud. I disagree with hiding. The only reason I use a pseudonym (catxman at catxman.wordpress.com) is because I like the way it sounds better than my “real” name. That’s it.

    And besides, they can’t drag you through the coals and kill you, can they? Not in this timeline, anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Silk Cords Post author

      Slow getting back to this but I’ve been busy the last few days; family over, etc…

      Anyway, thanks for stopping in, AND to a degree you’re correct. I think that’s part of where my frustrations with this girl are; if it’s only writing, not sexy pics or whatever, either have some courage or don’t post it at all. Let’s be real though; things are different when you’re a woman. A guy’s dick pic gets out and it’s “just boys being boys”, or tacky, but not surprising. A girl’s sexy picture gets out and everybody labels her a whore. Drag you through the coals? Well, my counter there would be look what happened to some of the women with GamerGate. Real names and addresses published online, death and rape threats, a couple of cases of actual stalking IIRC… Those girls didn’t do anything beyond assert that they had a right to play games also.

      So yeah, I agree with you to an extent, and in an ideal world, you’d be completely right, BUT reality is that things are different for women. Feel free to hang around too. I enjoy polite, intelligently worded differences of opinion. They get people thinking. 🙂

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