Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone. 🙂


Organized Chaos

I’m not surprised I got no comments on that last post.  I told you all it was a WEIRD dream, LOL.  Beyond that, just another quick update.  I’m still feeling better.  Not OK, but better.

On the writing front…  I have some ideas, I just need to get them “on paper” so to speak.  I’m trying to sort through several ideas and feelings about my writing though.  “Normal” erotica I could write all day long (when I’m feeling well).  My pragmatic side says that’s what I need to save for trying to get self published.  The “Cops and Robbers” story was never continued, for example, because I wanted to turn that into an ongoing series of erotica books.  Ideas just kept coming with Maria as a character.

Witchfire…  I kind of want to finish that story.  It’d be a long one by the time the conspiracy is unveiled and dealt with.  I think the biggest thing bothering me is that it’s set in a VERY misogynist comics world.  Granted there are rationalizations for why the existing superheroines act ditzy and such, but ultimately it’s still a bad story world.

Not much secret to regular readers that I’m a casual gamer also.  While I was hurting, I started playing Elder Scrolls Online again.  That stirred up the urge to do a Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim story again.  I wanted to do a story there for the longest, as the game has some really good stories in it.  Ultimately RPG type games all come down to “Go here, kill or fetch this, return for reward” in their quest lines.  I’m not sure how I could do the character’s running around and growing without making the story tedious and repetitive.  Ultimately it would need to be a little more Lord of the Rings and less RPG.

I *need* to get something published.  That much is clear.  Getting some sort of forward momentum is the only way I’m going to get past my self doubt and start to make writing a career.

For the rest of the week at least, things will be pretty hectic though.  Lots of cleaning and preparation for Easter this weekend.  We also have to “drop the bomb” on my (recently widowed) mom and tell her we plan on moving out of state.  There’s never going to be a good time for that, and the longer we wait, the worse it’s going to be because she’ll have less time to adjust between the notice and the move.

Once this week is over, hopefully I can get back to real writing, in between projects around the house and sorting things for the move, which is still months away.


The Strangest Dream

Which, believe it or not is actually also a Scottish bagpipe melody…  I’m talking an actual dream though. 🙂

Before I get to that, I am feeling better.  I really appreciate the well wishes from some of you also.  It’s been a big morale booster while getting through this back and neck pain.  I’m developing a plan of attack to fight back also; yoga, change of diet, etc…  I’m tired of living like this.  Enough there for now though. 🙂



The dream: This was either the night I made my last post or the next night.  I don’t remember the first part of the dream but apparently I died.  I went to the afterlife and found out it (the afterlife) was a series of video games.  The dead were put into these video games and had to learn the lessons built into the plots of the games and grow as people.  When they beat the video game and learned the lesson, they went on to the next video game.  All this was being explained to me by somebody else…

The ultimate idea was eventually you beat all the video games and became…  I don’t know if a perfect being is the ideal term, BUT… at least your best self, and a good enough person at that point to enter “heaven”.  Note the quotes because it wasn’t Heaven in the Christian sense.


I’m not sure what triggered such a bizarre dream.  It sounds ALOT like a twisted modern take on the idea of reincarnation.  I don’t even buy into the whole simulation theory stuff that became popular after The Matrix movies.  The only thing I can think of triggering this weirdness is that I do have “past life recall”, and it seems like from these “recalled” events that I’ve been stuck for ages…  Alot of trying to help those close to me and getting burned BADLY or doing the wrong thing for the right reasons in a couple of cases.

Between that pattern and the state of my life, I’m certainly feeling stuck, almost trapped.  Granted as I’ve said before, I’ve never been fully convinced of reincarnation either.  There are alot of rational explanations for most past life recollections.  Modern Christianity says one and done also.



It’s been a while since my last post, again, lol.

The pain problem has been really bad the last few days.  It’s probably been the worst I’ve felt since I figured out that spinal degeneration was responsible for it.  This morning my neck and head were hurting so bad I couldn’t even tell how bad the rest of my back was hurting.  No joke there. 😦

I got into the Chiropractor for the second time in three days and finally feel like everything MAY be back in place.  Most of the pain has subsided, but my shoulders, neck and back were so tensed up for so long they feel completely fatigued… almost charlie horsed now.

Anyway, I’m wiped out, but feeling better.  I have some writing ideas also, but I need a little more recovery time.

Le Sigh…

I’ve been trying to get something written the last day or so, but my neck and back acting up have been killing my creativity and focus.

I’ve become good at mentally blocking out part of the pain and some of the other side effects (for lack of a better term).  Mental focus and memory though… those go out the window.  I suppose because it takes so much mental energy to tune out the pain and pretend I’m functional.

I’m in a kind of rough spot in that physical activity hurts and throws things out of whack.  Being largely sedentary has me slowly deteriorating though.  Loss of muscle mass and endurance, weight gain, etc…  Life changes when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired though.  That’s me now.  Somewhere in the middle there is a “sweet spot” of activity level and better eating that will help pull me out of the figurative gutter.

I’m going to work on finding it, getting better AND being able to start writing for real.


Just a short one for the moment.  🙂

I *am* still alive, and I still intend to keep blogging.  My back was really acting up for a while, and that put a major dent in my writing motivation for a few weeks.  I’m back, and will be posting and replying to posts again.

Hope everybody is doing well.  🙂

Keep Being the Light

WordPress isn’t letting me reblog my own post, so I’m going to cut and paste it below.  I originally wrote this after getting REALLY fed up with all the negativity and hypocrisy on Twitter.  The advice speaks for itself, with one possible exception.  It IS written from a Christian perspective since it was a church service that inspired it.  None the less, I don’t believe that Christians have a monopoly on morals or leading by example.  What’s written here is a universal truth (for lack of better wording).


I’m sure I’m confusing people on twitter with my moderate’s disdain for the political extremes running amok there.  I’m grateful that some people seem to get it though.

My “No Politics” post didn’t make things as clear as I’d have liked.  I have TWO big problems with politics and the way people talk to others:


1) Issues are NEVER as simple as the extremists and demagogues on either side make them out to be.  For example, gangs are just one good reason for a border wall, BUT we have to overhaul our immigration system as well and allow good people a chance at the American Dream, take an honest look at what we may be doing to contribute to problems in Latin America, and see if we can do things to help them help themselves.

2) These extremists not only shut down thinking and discussion, they spread hate and poison.  There’s a principle of metaphysics that says hate only attracts more hate and conflict.  It doesn’t matter how righteous you THINK your cause is, if your answer is trashing and threatening violence against those you disagree with, you are part of the PROBLEM, not the solution.  You are also actively working to make the world a DARKER place.

I keep saying be more like Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Jesus, Buddha, etc…  I have a perfect story that illustrates the point also.  The Christmas Eve service is the one time this heathen is guaranteed to turn up at church.  The closing part of the services; the same every year, are exactly why:

The Pastor talks about the need to carry the Christmas Spirit into and through the new year, and how the world is a dark place if everybody withholds their love, compassion and caring from the world.  To illustrate the point, the lights are turned off in the chapel.

Now, everybody is given a candle entering the service.  They’re all being lit as the Pastor speaks.  He tells everyone to keep the candles low at first also; withhold their light from the world metaphorically.  Then he starts talking about how people can be the light, and make the world a better place.  Then all 3000 people (It’s a big church) hold up their candles.  It’s beautiful and amazing the difference it makes

Bayside Church Candle Lighting & Silent Night

Afterwards everyone sings Silent Night and then the services are over.

Watch the YouTube video through to the end and see if it doesn’t have the same impact on you as it did me.  It’s alot of light, and it’s people wanting said light to better the world, NOT burn it down.  THINK about that. Remember the people you disagree with are human beings with legitimate reasons for feeling and thinking the way they do.  If you actually talk to them like human beings, you will PROBABLY find out that you have more in common than you realize once you get past artificial labels.

Think win-win and you can probably also find a solution that’s not perfect, but works for both of you.